From time to time in this blog I write very honestly and bluntly about some of my struggles; this is one of those blogs. If reading blatant honesty from a missionary is not your cup of tea please feel free to skip this blog.
The past few weeks I have been pretty jaded and disillusioned with ministry, missionary life and the tasks before me. Life as a missionary is not always a bed of roses and even the best organizations have their moments when everything is not as it should be. So I have my seemingly well-justified reasons for my jadedness and disillusionment (as do all disenchanted people). However, all my well-justified reasons came under the scrutiny of one simple question: Whom do you serve?
This simple question of whom do you serve, shattered all my reasons and justifications for being jaded and disillusioned. If I serve myself when things are not rosy or something is not as it should be, then any unmet demands for change become justification for a jaundiced attitude. On the other hand, if I serve God in the midst of difficulty or less than ideal situations then these items are His responsibility and His command to me is to rejoice in all circumstances.
Please pray for my obedience to rejoice in all circumstances. Also a number of projects seem to be two steps forward then one step back and I am in the midst of negative progress. Pray for faithfulness to the Lord in the tasks at hand. Pray for the faith to trust God to provide the outcomes He desires.